I can point directly to the day I first realized I was not a feminist.
I was a junior in high school, debating at the Alta debate tournament with my wonderful partner
Rachel. In one round, two guys got up and won the round (by running a kritik on us--we were the neg, still mad about that) by telling us that women are oppressed, and that we were further oppressing them by saying "fishermen" instead of using the gender-neutral term "fisherperson". I have never before or since felt oppressed because of my status as a woman. But I did then. Two men were telling me that me and my woman partner were oppressed, and using that knowledge to therefore stifle our success in the tournament.
Sure, I get bugged by little things sometimes. As we were moving out to California, a lot of well-intentioned people would ask about our move with questions like "Oh, is your husband going to school? What's he going into?" without ever asking what I was going to do or even realizing that we could both go to school together.
I also get annoyed when my professors or other students single me out to comment because "we haven't heard much from the girls today." Or because most of the other girls in my program don't speak English as a first language, so they expect me to pick up the slack for our whole gender.
But I am not a feminist. And here is why I realized it this week.
I read an entire book chapter about the great contributions feminist scholars have given to the study of gender and politics. And I hated it. The whole thing ASSUMED that what women want is "equality," by which they mean we are treated identically to men. They ASSUME (it was never explicitly stated) that women will be less oppressed if they can get out of the stifling home environment and into the political world. In essence, when women are treated just like men, we will be less oppressed.
with forty or so of the strongest, most driven and accomplished women I have ever met. Some work outside the home, some work within their homes. Some have advanced degrees, others do not. Some are expecting new children, some are expecting new grandchildren. All are trying to develop themselves and their talents. But to look at that room, you would be hard-pressed to find one of them who feels that she cannot do whatever she wants, and whatever the Lord asks of her, because she is a woman.
More importantly, I do NOT WANT to be treated as equally as men. I expect to be treated BETTER. I want doors opened for me. I would appreciate having a seat on a crowded bus. I absolutely expect a higher standard in the language and topics discussed around me. I do not want to be drafted. I am thrilled by the fact that I can choose whether or not to work outside the home. I love my schoolwork and the opportunity, but I certainly prefer the work in the home and the unique satisfaction it brings to the long hours of studying and essays.
My big problem with feminists is that they have it exactly backwards, and that their efforts to make the genders identical actually disadvantages me in my pursuit of the privilege of being a wife and mother. I have no desire to give up my elevated status and become identical to men.
It is, of course, important to distinguish what I mean by "feminsim": I recognize that feminism, especially in it's historical role, has had undeniable positive impacts on the world and my life. I wholeheartedly support equality between the sexes. I do, however, feel that some modern feminist movements make the mistake of defining equality not merely as equality of opportunity, but of outcome. I support anyone who attempts to break down structural barriers or systemic oppression, but do not feel that behavior between men and women must be identical for equality to be achieved. It is only where the movement changes from structures and opportunities to behaviors and outcomes that I begin to take objection.
